Archive

2/25/03 through 3/30/03

This is a Joke, Right?

I was the number 1 salesman in the store today. My numbers were at least double those written by number 2. In the span of four days I have gone from number 20 in the store for the month (behind a guy who got fired three weeks ago) to number 10. What the fuck is up with this shit?

I should be happy, just take it for the coolness it is. But I can't help waiting for the candid camera people to hop out and laugh their asses off at me. You thought you were doing good, moron! Maybe that is a good thing. Instead of getting cocky and letting things slide, that paranoia will help keep me on track. Or at the very least it will drive me insane.

Posted by: Max - 03/30/03 - 9:35pm CST -

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

Why didn't we get cool books like this one when I was a kid?

Posted by: Max - 03/30/03 - 10:21am CST -

Kicking Ass

For my first couple of days in the guitar department, my sales were pretty good. Not good enough, but better than they had been in drums. Then, I hit a slump. Other people would be selling tons of gear while I would be lucky to move a cheap bass or practice. It's not like I was knocking myself out, but it was frustrating. Now, all of a sudden, for the past three days I have been having some of the best numbers I ever have had. Thursday, I was the top seller in the store. Yesterday and today I was in the top five. If this keeps up, I may suddenly find myself earning a living.

Posted by: Max - 03/29/03 - 8:46pm CST -

Moving on up ...

We're outta there. We're tired of our apartment, we're tired of having people living above us and we're tired of losing money every month. So, we're looking at moving into a house.

There are some scary aspects to buying a house. There is a ton of paper work. Then, there's the fact that you are getting a loan for $150K+ ... that's enough to make me queasy all by itself. Changes in taxes, insurance, property tax. Not to mention the whole hell of moving.

But, in the end, we'll have something that is ours - or at least we can treat it like it's ours, we can feel like it's ours. I'll be 61 before it's actually mine. But, I can have my bonsai garden. I can have a place to set up a real office. We can have a place for guests to stay, a place where we can do real entertaining, etc. I'm pretty excited.

Posted by: Jericho - 3/29/03 - 5:29 pm -

Damn Canucks!

Montreal Canadiens fans let their opinions of the impending war be heard Tuesday night when they booed the Star-Spangled Banner before the Habs-Devils game.

I guess I am going to have to start ordering some Freedom Bacon on my Egg McMuffin from now on!

Posted by: Max - 03/24/03 - 10:51am CST -

War? What War?

It's been three weeks since my daughter died. One thing I keep coming back to when I can work my pathetic ass out of denial long enough to actually face what happened is how little I have changed. My wife is not the same person she was three weeks and one day ago. The world has managed to turn itself upside down. Me? I work in a different department at the store and I have a wireless router. Niether quite strike me as the marks one should bear after the lose of one's daughter.

There is a voice in my head that screams that I should quit my job and hit the road, leaving the door to my house unlocked with a sign outside urging people to help themselves. I should be travelling around, consuming such vaste quantities of drugs and alchohol that the Lost Weekend will seem like a tea party by comparison.

There is another that says I should run away to a monastary and spend my life attempting to regain the faith I long ago lost. I could at least hold on to the belief that I would someday see my daughter in eternal glory and laugh at how I took this short, sick joke of a life so seriously.

Yet another says I should enlist as a frontline grunt. I could go out and fight for my country and Shrub's glory.

But is probably appropriate that I am now as I have always been and will be. A shallow, empty shell of a person. Just keep my head down. Another day, another shit stain in my underwear.

Posted by: Max - 03/20/03 - 12:31am CST -

Back to school boy.

Here I am at 31 years of age without a college degree. It's funny, one of the major things I wanted in high school was a college education. The education I got; but it wasn't what I expected. I learned more outside the class room than I ever learned in an over-crowded lecture hall. The main thing that I learned was that learning was cool - but a degree was over valued. I worried about that lesson for years, fearing I was wrong. But, over a decade later, I wish I had worried more about writing than studying or not studying.

Don't get me wrong, education is important, and a degree can open doors, but you can get an education in many ways and doors have many keys, a degree is just the one people expect. pursue their art. I spent most of my youth unemployed and depressed.

Having said that, you might find it odd that I am as excited as I am to be back in school. I am taking a Fundamentals in Tech Writing class online from a local community college. I've been enrolled a whole day now and have already finished one lesson and three assignments. I'm waiting for my grades on those before I push forward. I want to make sure I'm in line with the spirit of the thing before I soldier on. I have ninety days to finish, so time isn't a problem yet.

The best thing about this is that my employers are footing the bill. It's pretty easy for them, this class is about what lunch for a few attorneys would cost (read: cheap!). The even better part is that this class is just a warm up. You see, I got some news today - I am officially the web specialist for the whole Systems department, not just Telecom. This means that I will be assembling and maintaining web pages, creating news bits and memos for the intranet; in a phrase, I will be the voice of the Systems department. Thus, I need to be a concise, direct, clear writer. This will be in addition to my current duties.

The point is that once this class is done and if I perform well, we are going to hit up the department for even more Tech Writing classes. I have been wanting a certain certificate program offered by the UW for about four years now. It's college credit and panel reviewed - that means a bunch of people in the area who are in the biz of tech writing will be the ones giving me my grades. Can you say "Networking"? My boss is hoping to work some budgeting magic, since he can divide the cost across two fiscal years, he thinks he can pull it off. Plus, my employers offer education reimbursement.

Freelance tech writers often make a darned good wage. Guess what I want to be when I grow up.

Posted by: Jericho - 3/18/03 - 8:15 pm -

Mediocrity

One of the advantages of my current job is getting cool swag from instrument manufactures who want to encourage me to push their gear. Yesterday I got a DVD from PRS, a maker of expensive, yet so very cool, guitars and basses. Among the many cool features on it is a history of the company. It went into how Paul Smith, the founder of the company, was so driven to create what he considered the ultimate guitar. It talked about how he worked 7 days a week for the sole reason that if he didn't create his art, no one would. It went into how he would sneak back stage at concerts, waylay the guitarists and tell them (tell them, not ask them if he could) he was going to build them a guitar, and if they did not fall completely in love and make it their main axe, they could have it for free. He didn't end up giving any away.

Another section featured a Q&A session with Paul and the staff of one of the bigger Guitar Centers. One thing that struck me was how utterly blissed out he was to be there, in a room surrounded by his instruments, talking about the art of guitar making. This is a man who followed his passion, ignoring naysayers, not knowing if it was going to make a dime. He continues to follow that passion even though he probably sell his company off to the corporate giants of the instrument manufacturing world, as many have, and retire to some tropical island.

Me, I have spent most of my life hiding from challenge. I have owned a bass since '91. It is only in the past year that I have made a serious attempt, something more than learning the easier parts of a song or some nifty little chop, to learn the instrument and see what I can do with it.

I also seem to have a dearth of passion. Making a sale is cool, but my life wouldn't be empty if I wasn't hawking guitars. Playing bass is close, but as obsessive as I am about it, it does not comsume me completely. I can even let a day or two go by between playing sometimes. I can see it becoming a 7 day a week, 12 hour a day passion. But it isn't at the moment.

I have always wanted a life of passion and challenge. Some people crave wealth and ease. I always thought I would take adventure over over comfort any day. But instead, I let myself give in to laziness and cowardice. It seems like there is little in my life I have achieved so much as I have merely fallen into. And I have no one to blame but me.

Posted by: Max - 03/16/03 - 9:46pm CST -

Bios of the well off and infamous ...

I am about half way through two different auto-biographies. Both of these men are alive and in the arts. I'm not going to tell you the names of these men for my own reasons, please don't ask.

The thing that gets me about both of these men is that they both started off with nothing, just like I did. However, I spent a good portion of my youth sitting around with Max shooting the bull, dreaming of what we would do with our lives. They didn't do this. They found a passion and went for it. They were active in their arts by the age that I was taking on my first job. These men worked two and three jobs and still found time to pursue their art. I spent most of my youth unemployed and depressed.

The fact is that these men had heart and passion and a work ethic. They grabbed a dream and have not let go. Whereas, here I am, in my thirties, still looking for my passion, still building a work ethic. Maybe it was the fact that they were born in another generation, maybe they were just lucky, maybe they have the "X" factor, maybe they turned off the teevee more than I have. I wish I knew what it was, because I am jealous and I want it too.

So, now, I have some decisions to make. I can't follow their examples - they started young and had some level of success long before my age. I need to decide which is more important: my career, my family or my art. One of these men said, and I'm sure to not get the quote exact, that an artist has no place in polite society. Considering his success at my chosen art, it would be real easy to follow his lead.

Posted by: Jericho - 3/16/03 - 9:56 am -

The Menagerie Grows

Over the past few years, my house has become a home for wayward animals. I believe the count of animals, rejected by family and friends, my wife has brought home before today was 6 birds, innumerable fish and a dog. The dog was the only one I really cared for. She is cute and goofy. The rest just managed to be loud and messy.

Today, my wife added to that count to the tune of a mutt puppy she found on the side of the road. I have to admit the little bugger is cute. At least it isn't a squirrel or something.

Posted by: Max - 03/13/03 - 9:21pm CST -

I don't know who to cheer for ...

This war crapola is getting old fast.

Let's face it, Saddam is a prick and needs to be taken down not just one peg, but he needs to be dropped from the peg board entirely. We are not oppressing this guy. We are not blowing him out of proportion in the media. He spends a decade warring with Iran, then invades Kuwait, who is as defenseless as you can get. After we kick his butt, he agrees to peace terms that demand he disarm. Instead of playing nice, he spends the next decade building up his forces again and hiding his evil deeds from the UN. Did I mention firing on our people on a regular basis? Yeah, he's a bad man and he needs to be taken down.

But, then there is Bush. Dubya is using this to further the political goals of the Bush dynasty. This isn't about justice or righting a wrong, it's about securing the Oval Office in 2004. And it's push, push, push with this guy. At this point, Max is correct, we are slobbering war dogs looking for the kill and Shrub is the lead mutt!

Then, there is France. To coin a phase: Fuck France! Who are these Frog morons anyway? They have no military power. If NATO abandoned them, Saddam would come annex them! And, of course they want peace for Iraq - Iraq is their best customer for military hardware, and you can't collect on a bill that belongs to a dead man or a broke country. I say we go to war with Iraq and "accidently" drop a few bombs on France. Take a bath you wino cheese-heads!

As for the UN, yes, we all want peace and we all want to get along. Hans Blix, I hope you are as good of a man as you have appeared to be in the past. But, let's face it, Saddam is destroying a few missiles with one hand and hiding the rest of his shit with the other. He is making gestures to buy time. And, I'm sure the whole thing just amuses the shit out of him.

As it stands, I don't know what to do. Saddam needs to go, but having Bush up there barking and slobbering is turning me off to the idea of putting our people's lives at risk just to get him another term.

Saddam, if you are reading this, take a page from Sun Zu and your buddy Momar Kudaffi - declare peace now and then, it confuses your enemies. Disarm. Learn what commerce and trade are all about. Rule your nation with a velvet glove for the next decade. Be remembered as the savior of Iraq, not the idiot that got exiled, assassinated or worse.

Posted by: Jericho - 3/12/03 - 9:38 pm -

Kings of Chaos

Everyone here knows that I'm a die hard gamer. But, now, you all can help!

There is a new game called Kings of Chaos. Like many games, it requires that you gather resources and use those to buy troops to attack your enemies. But, in this game, I get resources when you click a link to the site!

So, over to the left there, I have a link that says "I wanna be the King of Chaos!" Do me a favor - Click It!

I am playing Jerikhan, leading a band of Orcs to victory and glory and death! I'll keep y'all updated as to my performance. Click the button everytime you come out! Thanks!

Posted by: Jericho - 3/9/03 - 4:10 pm -

Guittwangers

I started in guitars yesterday. I managed to sell four. It probably took me over a month to sell my first four drum kits. We had a slow day and I made the sort of sales, in terms of raw dollars, that I dreamed of in drums.

In other news, I have my wireless network going. So far, it has been going okay. At one point I had to uninstall and reinstall the card on my laptop because it wasn't managing to get an functioning connection to the router. It said it was connected, but it wasn't getting an IP address. I'm not sure exactly what was wrong. I know it was more than a mere DHCP problem, because coding a static IP didn't help.

Now that I am wireless, I am playing with XP more and more. So far, it is a real pain in the ass. But I am will to write that up to the fact that I am still on learning. I have killed the Playskool interface. I just couldn't take it. Last night it took about 8 hours to install all the updates and fixes I needed. The download took a minute or so. But the actual install took forever. It did help. A few annoyances have gone away. Of course, some new ones have shown up. Such is life.

Posted by: Max - 03/09/03 - 2:21pm CST -

Gone Wireless ...

How about some light geeking ... ?

Our apartment has quite the little computer network. We have two Macs, one Dell laptop, and my NEC work laptop makes the odd guest appearance - all of this over a Linksys ethernet router. To support these machines, we run cables all over the house. We have about 75' of CAT 5 hanging from little, black, plastic hooks out to the Mac G3. We routinely run a 50' cable out to the living room to connect one of the laptops. We have the capacity to run all four machines at once - a cable nightmare! But, with three heavy surfers in the house, it's not unusual that the something going bump in the night is one of us tripping over a cable.

The systems Steph uses at work have been upgraded and many of them are now accesible to her at home. This means that she can actually work from home to some degree - a joy to be sure! And, sure enough, this all comes at the cost of Steph having to do a good share of converting old files to the new system. Wouldn't it be cool to do them from the comfort and American Idol accessibility of Home? Sure it would!

We have long lusted after the idea of going wireless - we've been talking about it for a year. We would love to pull down the cables and stow all of them. Well, with Steph and I both doing work from home, and the fact that my good paycheck from all my recent overtime hitting our account at the same time our tax returns hit - we thought we would just go look at a new router and just one card for the laptop. We could start slow - maybe!

Linksys equiptment has not done wrong by me so far, so we went to CompUSA looking for blue boxes. Apparently, there is a new wireless protocol out there; G. For those not in the know, there are three major medium range wireless protocols: 802.11a, 802.11b and 802.11g. You may also have heard of Blue Tooth, it's short range, 30' or less. "G" is the new baby, it's flashy and fast and everything a good geek wants. The cool thing is that since it's the new hot thing, all the other stuff, ya know, the top of the line YESTERDAY - is all lower cost. Well, being a geek, I grabbed a G router and card. But, to be safe, I asked one of the CompUSA crew. I have a Mac, and Linksys says they are "compatable with most major platforms" but not Mac specifically. I wanted to make sure.

Get this, the new G system broadcasts at 2.4 GHz, sound familiar? Well, that's what a lot of top of the line corless phones broadcast at - and the two can interfere with each other. I own a nice 2.4 GHz Panasonic phone and we have talked about getting a second one. "B" systems do not have this problem - at least this is what the guy told me. I had a look at the Linksys website since then, both the "B" and "G" broadcast at 2.4 GHz, both have the same problem. Anyway, the good news is this: the router I had in my hand was $150, the card for the laptop was $69. The "B" bouter was $100 and the card was $79. I saved $40 and still got a wireless base system! A few months back, the cards were much more expensive, too. I love how technology just gets cheaper!

We get to the checkout, get our recipts and there are rebates - CompUSA prints out any rebates it knows of for your merchandise. Both rebates were for the card - one was for $10 and the other was for $70! We were in shock, we were going to get the card for free - bonus! Yeah - then we got home and read the fine print: this would have been free if we had bought a Pentium based laptop. Some rebate - thanks CompUSA!

Hooking up the router was a breeze. I think I have Linksys figured out, their "Setup Wizard" is a PC based bit of software - the router also supports some PC based firewall aids. This is why they won't say they are Mac compatible. However, if you can read their (rather good) set up sheet, setting up the router is a snap. Windows XP on the other hand is a different matter - and I could take up an entire post talking about that. Suffice it to say I couldn't get the card to work until I slayed a standing technical issue on XP, once I figured that out - everything worked better!

I don't know about "G" - but my new shit flies! The card passes 11 Mbps. What does that mean? Let's look at modems; remember 28k and 56k modems? Some of you might have a living reminder right in front of you - well, that's 56 _K_ - 56 thousand bits per second. Most 56k modem never actually see that speed - phone lines are horrid things (Remember, your phone line is 2400 baud or bps no matter what your modem is!) This card is 11 MILLION bits per second. Shove that in your phone line and smoke it! NIC cards, the things that allow you to plug a network cable into a computer, are often 10Mbps or 10/100. 100Mbps is really fast - only computers talking to other computers can fully use that kind of speed. 10Mbps is pretty darn fast and for a human surfing the net or other basic tasks. I have that, plus a little more. We have been having all kinds of fun with the Dell and her new connection. Wireless rocks!

Anyone need a gently used ethernet router? I got one going cheap ...

Posted by: Jericho - 3/5/03 - 10:44 pm -

The Funeral and Other Things

Today, Laura and I buried our daughter. Much as I expected, surrounded and supported by family and friends, I was finally able to completely let go. I had cried off and on since Thursday, but I have never been a very good crier. It is not so much that I am trying to be macho or some such bullshit as that I am (which seems very odd for someone who writes a blog) fairly guarded with my emotions, sometimes to an unhealthy extant. There were times over the past few days when I was afraid that my guard had grown too strong, and that even in the face of my daughter's death, I was cold and numb. The moments I have found myself daring to smile and even laugh came at a price of great guilt. The times I broke down in tears were almost a relief. Today I broke down almost completely. At least I still know that I am human.

I have never been a great lover of humanity as a group. But these past few days have shown both of us the better face of people. The nurses at the hospital were so amazingly caring and sensative. They never once gave us any indication that we were anything but their number 1 priority. There was at least one other couple there that night going through what we were, so we know we weren't their only concern. But when they were with us, it seemed like we were all that mattered to them. Some even shared their own stories of losing a child. It was their caring that helped us to make the decision to hold Robin for a while, instead of trying to hide from our loss. In that alone they probably saved us years of regret and started us on that tear filled path of healing.

Laura's friend Beth was there almost from the start, through to the end. The same goes for Jericho, who couldn't be there in body, but was in the form a caring message waiting for us on our machine when we got home, to what must have been a very awkward phone call for him. We love both of you. The same goes for our parents, family and friends who have stood with us through these trials.

Bopp funeral home and St. Louis Florists also have earned a special place in our hearts. We couldn't bear the thought of our daughter being treated like medical waste in some hospital incinerator. But as has been mentioned many times here, we aren't exactly well off. Bopp and St. Louis Florists stepped in and allowed us to give Robin a proper burial free of charge.

In learning who our friends truly are, we also learned who they aren't. Someone who we had thought was a friend, someone we had taken into our home not so long ago and treated like family, proved what a self centered prick he is. I hope he and his ego will be very happy together.

Finally, I want to say that this may or may not be my last post about Robin for a while. She is my daughter. Her entry, brief stay and exit from my life has been among the most profound events of my life, both for good and for ill. She will always be an important part of me and I can't imagine I won't talk about her here. But as I heal, and I put myself and my life back together from the ground up, I will have other thoughts, experiences and parts of myself to share here. That in no way takes away from Robin's importance to me. It is a testament to it. For me, who I am now, Thursday, February 27, 2003 is Day 0. Everything I am and will become will exist in the light and shadow cast by that day. So nothing I say from here on out is not about her, whether it seems like it or not.

I am now going to leave you in Jericho's hands for the next few days. I am sure he will do right by you and lighten the mood here a little.

Posted by: Max - 03/04/03 - 8:51pm CST -

Robin Catherine Dobberstein

Last night, at about 9:30 PM CST my daughter, Robin Catherine Dobberstein, was born. She wasn't supposed to be born until July 25th. She lived for only about an hour and died in her grandmother's arms. We held her all too briefly after she had gone. My wife and I have been alternately working through denial and tears.

We didn't plan on having her. She was a happy accident. At first we were scared because we are in no way financially ready for a child. But we wanted her all the same. I was going to buy her this cool little drum set we sell up at the store. I was going to teach her the bass and Laura was going to teach her violin. I was going to teach her about music and philosphy and books. Laura was going to teach her about art and decorating. Our dog Adi was going to be her protector, just like Laura's dogs had been her protectors when she was little.

She was going to be Daddy's Little Girl. She was going to be a brat. She was going to be cute and loving. She was going to keep us up nights, wondering when she was going to get home. She was going to wrap me around her little finger.

She's going to be our beautiful, perfect little girl forever.

I love you my little Robin.

Posted by: Max - 02/28/03 - 10:36pm CST -

Irate on the Internet

Irate Weirdos is quickly on it's way to being an Internet institution. Having said that, it is time that we recognized several other sites on the Internet that house our Irate & Weird brothers and sisters.

Below is a list of links to the self proclaimed Irate of the Internet. Feel free to go check them out at your leisure. If this list proves to be incomplete, please feel free to let us know.

List is in alphabetical order.

I.R.A.T.E.

Infinite Rebellion Against The Establishment (I.R.A.T.E.) is an L.A. "Nu Metal" band that is just breaking the surface. Take Korn, Limp Bizkit and The Back Street Boys and you have a good idea of what we're talking about here. Be sure to get your CD Sampler at your local Hot Topic!!!

Okay, the only reason they are on this list is that I just LOVE the name! Wish I had thought of it first ...

Irate

On the other coast we have Irate. Irate claims to be "New York's most brutal band". They also claim to be a "Voltron-like metal monster". Well, I have yet to hear a single note, but merely the mixture of hard rock and Voltron is enough for my vote. Welcome, Brothers!

Irate Nate

Irate Nate is a blog that is possibly more scatter brained than our own beloved IWDC. I've read it on and off for a few months - he is the inspiration for this post. You may ask yourself, after checking out this site, why I, Jericho, would be reading this? Well, I don't know either. Moth to the flame?

Irate Neighbor

Irate Neighbor is proof that one can still find decent rock and roll in California. Have a listen to their MP3's - very blusey and bassey. I love all of that. I'd scrap their lead singer - but I'd scrap most lead singers!

Irate Shrimp

I can honestly say that I have no idea what this blarney is about - but the Shrimp pics are worth the price of admission!

Irate Squirrel

Okay, so, Brooke is the blog's writer - Alex is the squirrel that lives in her head. Together they are Irate Squirrel. Pretty good writing, I've now read this blog a few times and am enjoying my spelunking. If you like IWDC, this should be right up your tree.

There are others, to be sure. (There are always others, are there not, Mr. Burton?) However, for the moment, this list will lead us down the righteous path to total Irateness!

Posted by: Jericho - 2/28/03 - 9:02 pm -

From The Front Line of Ashcroft's War on Fun

And for his next trick, Ashcroft will crack down on tie dye shirts and Phish CD's. Does anybody else find this dumb fuck a bit too surreal for words?

Posted by: Max - 02/25/03 - 5:53pm CST -