Jericho: Proof of God's existance!

Thank you, God!!

Max: Another Pawn Falls To Canadian Propaganda

Max: Oh My

Max: I Still Can't Believe George Is Gone

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done."

Max: It's That Shuttle Shaped Thing Over There

Max: Unemployment Claims Center Closed

Via STLToday

The Missouri Department of Labor is closing down the St. Louis Regional Claims Center as of Aug. 31, resulting in the loss of 63 jobs.

St. Louis workers said they got layoff letters Friday morning notifying them that Aug. 31 would be their last day at work, unless they were offered a job at one of the three remaining regional call centers in Kansas City, Jefferson City and Springfield.

The call centers handle claims for unemployment benefits.

When asked where the 63 soon to be laid off claims center employees should go to claim unemployment benefits, a representative of the Missouri Department of Employment Security said, "Oh ... ummmmm ... well ... shit."

Max: John Scalzi Fights Moron Marriage

Well, fine. Since apparently it’s the fashion to deny marriage status to people ... simply because we don’t like them and their marriages make us twitchy, by the power vested in me by whichever existential and ontological reality conveniently lets me get away with it, I hereby declare that marriages which include any of the following never ever existed:

Max: Double Wide

The lot isn't great, but the view is awesome.

Max: Going to 11

Natty G interviews the greatest guitarist history has ever known.

Of course, History hasn't known that many guitarists. I mean, there have been a lot of guitarists, but History has only met a few personally. History had the chance to go see Hendrix in a small club in London, back when the Experience had just formed. History doesn't even remember what it did instead. But that's how it goes.

Max: Jack Helafieno - A Real American

(Ominous music)

Bob Statesman says that Jack Helafieno is a violent meth addict with a taste for incestuous necrophilia. But Bob is a liberal elitist. He reads books, even when his TV is not broken. He was recently overheard talking about a recent issue of Playboy. He was talking about an article. He probably doesn't even look at the pictures.

Also, the letters in "Bob" are also used to spell "Obama bin Laden".

Meanwhile, Jack Helafieno has the same first name as Jack Bauer.

Jack Helafieno; a real American.

Paid for by Morons Who Don't Know Anything

Max: Bob Statesman - Wrong For America

(Ominous music)

Bob Statesman opposed the war in Iraq because it was a "bad idea".

Just because he was right does not mean he isn't all the things we said he was back when we thought the war was a "nifty idea".

Bob Statesman - wrong for America.

Paid for by Americans United for Lying About Politicians We Don't Like

Max: Bob's Bible Tales

This is the word of the Lord. Really. Check your Bible if you doubt.

Max: Comedy

Jericho and I should have formed a comedy duo and called ourselves "Four Short Men".

Max: Garrison Keillor - Individual Like Everyone Else

A nation of individualists

The beauty of May is that the whole country is more or less on the same page, called spring, and spring is spring, in Minnesota or California or Georgia or Vermont. Slightly different birds and flowers, same feeling. April is blowing snow up north, and by June my friends in Georgia will be chained to their air conditioners, but here for a few weeks we are more unum than pluribus.

I grew up in a country where we all knew the same songs and watched the same TV shows, and now we live in tiny niches. Most famous people are people most people have never heard of. Which is fine by me. A nation of individualists. You work hard to be odd and try to have unique problems and a Facebook page that is weirder than everyone else's -- fine, it's your life, it's your arm with the crocodile tattoo, not mine, but enjoy this brief period of consanguinity.

Max: Herring Circus

Max: Snique Pique

New Futurama is acomin'

Charles W. Howard: How To Pick Your Pen Name

From the ever New and Weird Jeff Vandermeer

So, what’s your literary pen name? THIS IS THE OFFICIAL FORMULA (as created by, um, me):

(1) Use the first name of your favorite writer as your first name.
(2) Use the name of your first pet as your middle name or for your middle initial (if your pet had a separate last name…you’re a freak).
(3) Use the first or last name of your favorite character in fiction–your choice–as your last name.

Thus, I would be Vladimir Tiko Ahab…er, or not.

Max: Sexpelled

Max: Creationist Compromise

Read about it at Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy Blog

Max: State of the Union

Max: Dawkins and Maher Sitting In A Tree

Max: A Realistic Pimp

Max: Test Your Power of Perception

Max: Text Support

Max: Preacher

Unshelved, a neato keen comic strip, mentioned one of my favorite comic series, Preacher.

No, I don't know why you should care.

Max: Kiss Me I'm A Muppet

Jericho: Possibly the Wrongest Thing Ever

Max: Garfield Minus Garfield

Odd

Max: So Very Wrong (Funny)

Max: Everything Mike Hukabee Isn't

He is a bass player, though. Do we really want a bass player as President?

Max: Pot - Threat or Menace?

Max: Fucking With Writers Is Dangerous

Max: The Bass Player

Max: Glen Wool

Max: Blow Me!

Max: Wheeze of the Week, Mate

Max: School House Cock

Max: This is the Most Awesome Thing Ever

Jericho: Pasta with a rich Dogma sauce ...

I thought that the Discordianism was funny. Hail Eris!

I thought the SubGeni were funny. Hail "Bob"!

I think that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is hilarious!

However, it would appear that FSM is getting some official attention.

I think it's funny how religions, even fake religions, come and go. I mean, the Sub-Geni and the Discordians are still around, and they experience ebbs and flows of popularity. But, let's face it, they are on the way out. The Pastafarians are the new, hot parody!

What would happen if the parodies joined forces? Why couldn't "Bob" be an avatar of Eris and vice-versa? Eris, "Bob" and FSM - the new Holy Trinity?

Max: Nebraska State Senator Sues God

via: Wired Threat Level

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.

The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, "has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons." Those threats are credible given God's history, Chambers' complaint says.

Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

Likewise the suit accuses God of having his chroniclers "disseminate in written form, said admissions, throughout the Earth in order to inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to coerce obedience to Defendant's will."

Jericho: HEYYY ...

Have you ever wished for a Planet full of Unicorns?

I know I certainly haven't! But had I, it would have been nothing like the link above!

I have thought several times about putting together a web based show of some sort. I haven't done it because I would want to put out a quality product and I'm sure my skills are not up to that.

However, this is proof that others are not allowing simple things like lack of skill and taste slow them down.

And they will probably end up being millionaires!

Max: Blog Jazz

My dogs' unconditional love for me - along with the fact that they would eat their own shit if allowed - is proof of their lack of discernment.

Caffeine is the only thing that slows the inevitable onslaught of entropy.

If the day ends and I have not offended someone, then I have done nothing. If the day ends and no one has offended me, then I have learned nothing.

If no one tells you your plans are impossible, you are not being ambitious enough.

Look before you click.

Don't bite the hand that can format your hard drive.

If a new technology is not condemned by someone as an infernal device that will destroy the human spirit, it probably was not worth developing.

Anyone who successfully commits suicide should be forced to live with the consequences of his actions.

If you need cameras, keyloggers and screencaps to spy on your employees, you either hired the wrong people or are a jerk.

"All work and no play" is the battlecry of modern corporations.

Religion, boiled down, is using war to spread a message of peace and love to people you hate.

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend with my life your right to say it. If it is annoying enough, I may just shoot myself to avoid having to listen to it.

Never say in ten words what you can say in two. Better yet, just shut the fuck up right now.

Max: Basic Instructions

This amuses me.

Jericholicious

I was just sending an email to a couple of friends using my favorite emailin' tool; Gmail. I included the word "Jericholicious" in my message and then performed a spell check. Of course the ever vigilant Gmail spell checker felt this word was in error - as I knew it would. However, for giggles (of which I got a few!) I went ahead and checked the list of word replacements that were suggested. The first word at the top of the list was:


"Crotchless".


Insert your own punchline here. :)

Max: Oh My

Pretty album covers.

Max: Things I Shouldn't Find Amusing

20 endangered rabbits released; 14 promptly eaten

Most of a group of 20 endangered rabbits that were reintroduced to the wild with great fanfare last month have been killed by predators, state officials said.

Only four of the rabbits released on March 13 remained at the Sagebrush Flat Wildlife Area as of Tuesday, said David Hays, pygmy rabbit coordinator for the state Department of Fish and Wildlife.

Max: IED - Improvised Explosive Duck

Jericho: I think Henry speaks for all of us ...

Max: The IT Crowd

Possibly the greatest Britcom since Red Dwarf.



More (for the time being) on Youtube.com

Max: A PSA from George Takei

Jericho: Time Friends

This was made here.

Max: Gaaaaayyy